"When my husband is contradictory about what he says how a woman should be treated to how he actually treats me. It makes me feel I have less value than those other women."....
"If this is followed by him expressing his attractiveness towards that other woman and recognising her values, it make me feel like I not only hold less value, I'm also less appealing to him...."
The foundation of these feelings is built on the way the wife is treat and the way she sees herself through her husbands eyes.
"I rebuke him saying I have an 'unattractive character of jealousy'."
The underlining issue is not jealousy but the appreciation a husband SHOULD show a wife so that she should KNOW her value to him. If her hard work to create a good home, efforts to please him and to look beautiful for him is not acknowledged but criticised, the devastation is that the level of her worth and efforts is based on that foundation.
Therefore any another expression of appreciation towards another woman automatically places them above the wife causeing feels of being devalued, not jealousy.
To be labelled as a jealous person that is just a stamp of confirmation on her low value in HIS life.
How a wife looks at herself through her husbands eyes during that sensitive moment: Usless with no value to top it off an unattractive jealous human being.
Nice one husband. 👎
Your words and attention is worth more than you realise, so use it wisely.
(side Note: Remember this is NOT truly how the husband sees his wife because they're just shortsighted to see the affect of their actions or comments, but its how we interpret his actions. The short sightedness works in our favour more than we may realise. Us women are very analytical. Its not a problem but a gift so we have the ability to keep everything and everyone working in order, we should also use it wisely for our benifit and keep our mind on track. )
But the damage is done and the wounds are deep. How to deal with it? How do we heal, fix these feelings and our relationship?
NOW... This is where relationship with God is so important, our values comes from him!
"Im feeling down and broken, I can't seem to find the right words to explain what I'm feeling and only make things sound worse. My husband doesn't understand me when I'm feeling undervalued and unappreciated and he says the wrong things and make things worse also!.. "
TAKE A BREATH ITS OK because... " I have God. He is the saviour! The night in shiny armor. My King, my spiritual husband, my comforter my everything. He loves me like no other. He appreciates me above all other. He lets me know my true value. He reminds me of it every single day. My foundation of my worth is built on the way my Lord sees me. He Loves me and not afraid to show it and he fills my heart with assurance, with praises and joy. He gives me joy to work and be the woman he sees in me. I have no reason to be low spirited, I have no reason to frown my face. He keeps me happy all day everyday, and puts the spring in my steps.
The Lord says to me and written them down to be remembered forever:
1 Peter 3:4 You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious..
Proverbs 11:16 A kindhearted woman gains respect..
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.”
Proverbs 31:10, 11,12,26,29,30, 31 10 A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.
11 Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
12 Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
26 When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.
29 Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all!
30 Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
31 Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!
Now my spirit has been lifted and will praise my Lord for his UNFAILING Love and comfort. "
Wives, live with the guidance of our Lord Jesus Christ for he will never fail you and you will never fall. Your husband will love your positive spirit, your family will enjoy your energy and efforts. You will be the strong Pillar in your home built on your very own foundation of Jesus our God.
Theres Nothing anyone can say or do to bring that down.
Our Lord is the glue in a marriage. He is our foundation for our future and success. He is the key to every successful marriage. He holds us up individually on a personal level in turn bringing the partnes closer in love, respect and work together in harmony.