Hi Nehemiah,i see now you've opened up to become transparent to God. I'm praying for you. But I want you to talk to God as I pray for you. Close your door,enter into your room.Switch off your phone and turn off TV or Radio set.Doing so means you have dealt with distractions.Let nothing distract you as you talk with God. Take your time to think of anything you've been doing which does not please God. Name them to God and ask Him to please forgive you. Remember,when talking to God,the moment you go down on your kneels and close your eyes,He is there with you. After telling God those sins you can remember and asking Him to forgive you,tell Him to talk to you. To tell you what you need to know.Do all of these with some strong believe and experience God's power. After asking the Creator to talk to you,open your bible.Any passage you open,start reading.Read slowly. The Spirit of God will either take you to where you will see His promises for you,or to where there will be instructions for you to follow,etc... When you finish reading, close your eyes again and claim His Word. Then ask Him anything else you want Him to do for you. Thank Him,and do your best to start living a life that will please Him. Your prayer is in Jesus name only. Anywhere,anytime you need God,just close your eyes to avoid distraction and call upon His name. He is everywhere,anytime. When you pray,apply faith and the name of Jesus in order to bring the power of the Holy Spirit in the scene. There is no other god as powerful as the creator of heaven and earth. Don't be deceived. Normally you needed someone for counselling. But I dont know where you are,and you might be led astray. Pray for the spirit to lead you to worship in a living church. Where Christ is preached and obeyed. The bible says by their fruits we shall know them. There are wolves in sheep clothing. I pray that may the supreme God make a turn around in your life in Jesus' name,amen. Experience the love of Christ dear brother. Stay blessed.